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Brined & Roasted Turkey

This is such a basic thing, but it makes all the difference in the world, no matter how you intend to cook your turkey. You can adjust the quantities to your desire, just make sure the ratios remain proportionate. You can add whatever herbs or aromatics you'd like. Traditionalists will recommend thyme, rosemary and bay leaves, but do what you want. Even if you don't add anything else to this, the bird will come out awesome, I promise.

I have a cooler that holds 7 gallons and happens to be the *PERFECT* size for brining 1-2 14-pound turkeys...which was totally a happy accident since I bought it because it's also the perfect size to hold 2 gallons of milk and one bag of ice for road trips (it's a Coleman model 6277 if anyone cares). You could easily do this in a 5 gallon bucket or a massive stock pot, or, well, really anything that the turkey will fit inside completely.

My brine is super simple, and you can omit the beer and just add extra water if you'd like and it'll be just as good.

In a large pot, combine:

6 12-oz beers

1 cup of brown sugar

2 cups of salt (whatever salt you have....I use kosher in my cooking, but I always just buy a 50 cent thing of cheap table salt for this....that is almost exactly 2 cups)

2-3 quarts of water (enough to top off the pot)

Heat over medium high heat until all of the sugar and salt dissolve, then remove from the heat and allow to cool completely. If you are as impatient as I am, you can pour this over a bag of ice right into the bucket/cooler/pot you're going to use.

Pull the pop up thermometer out of the turkey if there is one, rinse well under cold water, and then put your turkey into the cooler breast side down. Add a bag of ice, and then top off with water and stir to distribute the brine. Let the turkey sit in this at LEAST 8-12 hours. Usually, I buy a frozen bird and I let it thaw in the brine. This saves me room in my refrigerator, and it gives the bird extra time in the brine solution. :) Win-win! Just make sure you check at least once a day and add ice as needed, to keep everything cold. Luke warm water + poultry is not a good idea. ;)

When you're ready to cook your bird, preheat your oven to 500 degrees. Pull it out of the brine and rinse it off, inside and out. Pat it dry and put it on a rack inside a roasting pan. Smear the outside with real butter (you could certainly whip your butter up with some fresh garlic paste and use that for extra flavor) and put stuff loosely inside as desired (note: NOT STUFFING. STUFF. Onions, garlic, carrots, celery, apples, orange peel, whatever...but under no circumstances dressing...It will not cook evenly and will just make a huge yucky mess). Put extra 'stuff' in the bottom of the roasting pan and add about a quart of chicken stock (or turkey, if you happen to have it in your freezer...I never do). Just make sure the bottom of the turkey is not touching the liquid--you can add more stock as necessary throughout the cooking process if you find all of the liquid has evaporated. You can just as easily use Better Than Bouillon and hot water, too. ;) 

Throw the bird into the 500 degree oven, close the door and walk away for 30-45 minutes. Do not look at it. Do not, under any circumstances, open the door. After 30-45 minutes, turn the heat down to 350, pull it out, baste it really good with the liquid in the bottom of the pan, and then tent the breast only with foil. Put the bird back in. Every 30ish minutes, go back and baste it again.

Using a probe thermometer (available at Walmart for like $3....don't skimp), take the bird's temperature in the thickest part of the thigh, between the thigh and the body of the bird. When it reads between 155 and 160 (should take roughly 2-3 hrs for a 13-15 lb bird), pull it out and cover the entire turkey tightly in foil. Its temperature will continue to raise and the juices will distribute it will be perfect and ready to eat after about 20-30 minutes.

Freezer Inventory

I'm so tired of things toppling out at me when I open my freezer door! Upon catching a round roast that I didn't even realize I had to the toe a bit ago, I thought I'd take a quick inventory.

6 1-lb bags Broccoli Florets
1 3-lb bag Broccoli Florets
2 1-lb bag SW Mix Veggies
1/2 of a 3-lb bag of Stir Fry Mix Veggies
1/2 of a 3-lb bag of Crinkle Cut French Fries
9 3/4-lb packages of Hamburger
5 1-lb packages of various Steaks
2 packages of 2 Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts
1 2 lb package of Stir Fry Cut Pork Strips
1 10-lb bag of Ice
4 haphazard Otter Pops from last summer
1 misplaced Fudgecicle from last summer
2 wayward Lemonade Fruit Bars from last summer
4 Totinos Pizzas
1 jar of Yeast
1 box of Baking Soda

(Oh, and the round roast went into my fridge for tomorrow's crockpot dinner!)

Is it any wonder why things jump out at me when I open the door? I NEEEEEED a chest freezer. No idea where I'd PUT one, and I fear for the things I'd lose in it...but....

Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew

I did not write this, but I came across this in one of those parent and student rights handbook thingamabobbers that the state mandates that schools give you when enrolling your child in special education classes. I've had this handbook in my file cabinet since 2007, and I gotta admit, I've never bothered to read it. 'Til my husband needed a source for a research paper and I dragged it out.

Bottom line...not written by me. This was written by Ellen Notbohm. Most of this touches home with me, since I have two children who have autism, and so much of it is 100% accurate for them.


1. I am a child with autism. I am not "autistic." My autism is one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)?



2. My sensory perceptions are disordered. This means the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday life that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you, but I am really just trying to defend myself.

A "simple" trip to the grocery store may be hell for me. My hearing may be hyperacute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can't filter all the input, and I'm in overload! My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn't quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn't showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples... I can't sort it all out, I'm too nauseous.

Because I am visually oriented, this may be my first sense to become overstimulated. The fluorescent light is too bright. Sometimes the pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing. The space seems to be constantly changing. There's glare from windows, moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion, too many items for me to be able to focus - and I may compensate with tunnel vision. All this affects my vestibular sense, and now I can't even tell where my body is in space. I may stumble, bump into things, or simply lay down and try to regroup.


3. Please remember to distinguish between won't (I choose not to) and can't (I'm not able to). Receptive and expressive language are both difficult for me. It isn't that I don't listen to instructions. It's that I can't understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: "*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^&^%$#$%^&*." Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: "Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It's time to go to lunch."This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it's much easier for me to comply.


4. I am a concrete thinker. I interpret language literally. It's very confusing for me when you say, "Hold your horses, cowboy!" when what you really mean is, "Please stop running." Don't tell me something is a "piece of cake" when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is, "This will be easy for you to do." Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres and sarcasm are lost on me.


5. Be patient with my limited vocabulary. It's hard for me to tell you what I need when I don't know the worlds to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused, but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation, or other signs that something is wrong. There's a flip side to this: I may sound like a little professor or a movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits, because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, television or the speech of other people. It's called echolalia. I don't necessarily understand the context or the terminology I'm using. I just know it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.


6. Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of patient repetition helps me learn. A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day planner, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transitions between activities, and helps me manage my time and meet your expectations.


7. Focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can't do. Like any other human, I can't learn in an environment where I'm constantly made to feel that I'm not good enough or that I need fixing. Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however constructive, becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you'll find therem. There's more than one right way to do most things.


8. Help me with social interactions. It may look like I don't want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it's just that I simply don't know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, I may be delighted to be included.


9. Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. This is termed "the antecedent." Meltdowns, blowups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented.


10. If you are a family member, please love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts such as, "If he would just..." and "Why can't she...?" I didn't hcoose to have autism. Remember that it's happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you I'm worth it.


It all comes down to three words: Patience. Patience. Patience.

Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. I may not be good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed I don't lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates, or pass judgment on other people?

You are my foundation. Think through some of those societal rules, and if they don't make sense for me, let them go. Be my advocate, be my friend, and we'll see just how far I can go.

Perfect Oatmeal Cookies

I woke up craving oatmeal cookies today. What can I say? I must've been dreaming about them or something. The kids wanted to go to Grandma's house, and my husband had a slight case of cabin fever, so we decided to go bake cookies at Grandma's house...after a quick trip through Safeway, of course. :)

This recipe is totally not mine, FYI. It has been adapted from Smitten Kitchen's "thick, chewy oatmeal raisin cookies". I cannot express my love for Smitten Kitchen enough!

What ya need, "in order of appearance":

1 cup softened butter (I know I always say margarine is fine....but you need real butter for this....and don't be like me and forget to pull your butter out of the freezer...oops!)
1 1/2 cup brown sugar (whatever you like, I use dark brown sugar)
2 eggs
1 tsp good vanilla extract (I used bourbon vanilla....you could use a vodka vanilla....or McCormick...whatever...I won't tell...)
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
3-3 1/2 cups oatmeal (anything but instant will work...I use quick oats since that's what I buy for breakfast...)
1 bag chocolate chips (whatever you like...my crowd likes milk, and I prefer dark, so I used half and half)
2 cups raisins
1 1/2 cups nuts (whatever you like....walnuts are good...as are pecans...or, well, anything, really...)

Typical cookie method--cream the butter and sugar together, add the eggs and vanilla and mix well. In a separate bowl, mix up the flour, salt, baking soda and cinnamon with a fork, then combine the wet and dry mixtures. Stir in the oatmeal a cup at a time, then fold in the chocolate chips, raisins and nuts.

Chill the dough for half an hour or so. Line your cookie sheet with parchment paper and then drop the dough in balls about an inch apart (mine didn't spread much at all....but then my dough-to-stuff ratio was VERY heavy on the stuff so there really wasn't much TO spread).

Bake in a 350 degree preheated oven for about 10-12 minutes or until browned to your liking. Allow to sit on the hot cookie sheet for an additional 5 mins or so after you pull them out of the oven, then move them to cooling racks.

NOMMMMMMMMM!!!!

Chicken Tortilla Soup

*updated 06 March 2013*

I've only been meaning to blog this recipe for a month now, but it's so good I keep forgetting to take a photo until it's all gone!

Sorry, no real process photos, but it's really simple! Here's a general list of what you'll need:

1.5-2 lbs chicken breasts (or thighs)
1 small onion, chopped
3-4 big cloves of garlic, minced and crushed into paste
2 12-16 oz bags of Southwest Mix frozen veggies (the one I love is by Birdseye...use what you like)
2 cans of Rotel (Original)
1/2 cup of white rice
1/4 cup sour cream
1-2 teaspoons of chicken base (I like Better Than Bouillon, but you can use a couple bouillon cubes or substitute a can of stock or leave it out entirely, that's fine too....)
2 tablespoons of your favorite taco or fajita seasoning--I love the one over at Give Peas A Chance, as I've said before....but you can use McCormick if you'd prefer...no one will tell.

seasoning to taste (I use salt & pepper, garlic and onion powders, chile powder, lots of cayenne pepper...Montreal Seasoning works well, too)


Start out with a couple tablespoons of oil in a heavy bottom soup pot or dutch oven over medium heat. Toss in the onion and garlic paste and cook till the onions are translucent. Cut the chicken into 1/2" cubes and toss it in with the onion and garlic, and then use your misc. seasonings to season the chicken before turning the heat up to high and browning it a bit. Toss in the fajita seasoning and the chicken base, both cans of Rotel, the rice and the bags of veggies, and add about 2 quarts of water (enough to top off the pot). Bring it to a boil and then reduce heat and cover and let it simmer for 20 mins or so (I know this seems like a long time for those of us who prefer their rice a little firm...but I think soft is better for this....so use your judgment). At the end, mix in the sour cream (I *HATE* sour cream straight up....but I still put it in this. It adds a little something and it doesn't make everything taste like sour cream, I promise!).


Spoon out the "good stuff" into a bowl with a slotted spoon, and then use a ladle or a measuring cup to pour the broth over the top of it--this way everyone gets their preferred "stuff to broth ratio." haha!!

Top with shredded cheese (cheddar...must...have...cheddar....monterey jack is good, too, but you simply MUST use cheddar, too! LOL!), more sour cream for those who like it, and tortilla strips or Fritos! I usually add shredded lettuce and chopped tomato and onion to the top as well.

Voila! Tortilla soup.

Opening a Pomegranate

'Tis the season that I start craving pomegranate! I used to be really intimidated by cutting into them, but it's really not too difficult or even messy if you go about it properly.

You'll need a mixing bowl, a sharp knife (I like my serrated tomato knife for this) and I'd recommend a trash bag to cover your cutting board or counter top as well, because the juice *WILL* stain, I promise.

Start by lopping off the top--about half an inch or so.

See the juice?!

Score the side from top to bottom about half a dozen times, give or take (at least 4 times).

Fill your bowl with cold water, and then break the pomegranate apart into the water. It should come apart pretty easily where you've scored it.

Then, all you have to do is get to work gently picking the little pearly bits out, letting them fall into the water. The fruit will sink, and the icky white part and skin will float to the top.

All you have to do from this point is skim all the white pith off the top of the water, and strain it and you will be left with about a cereal bowl full of pomegranate seeds/pearls/whatever you wanna call them to use however you want. My favorite is to just eat them as-is by the handful, but you could put them in salads, juice them, make jam, make grenadine, or any number of other things.

I store them in a bowl in my fridge wrapped in flour sack cloth.