What's in my bag?

This morning, I found myself sitting in my little office, doing the most mundane of tasks as I recover from the plague that has ripped through my body in the last week. I needed a cough drop, and my stash on the desk was gone. I reached for my purse, and dug around a bit, knowing that there had to be a cough drop in there somewhere--one does not just have the plague for a week and not have cough drops in her purse--and thus started the great purse clean out. Sadly, this is only about a month’s worth of accumulation, as this is a relatively new purse.

13 types of lip crap; my daddy’s watch; car payment coupons; 44 pens; 3 years’ worth of permanent ID badges from my kids’ school; antibacterial wipes (because kids and public toilets are never clean enough!); a lucky penny; a leather-wrapped notepad; house keys; a sensory chewy tube; 2 barrettes; 3 toothpicks; another tube of lip crap; 2 packs of gum; 2 phone charger ends; a jump drive; notes from a school board meeting; 2 prescription bottles filled with various OTC medications plus their original prescription meds; 2 packs of gum; a stick of spf 70 sunblock (tattoos!); a tube of cheap lotion from a cheap hotel; THE COUGH DROPS I WAS LOOKING FOR!!! plus a box of other cough drops that don’t work, but my daddy always got them for me when I was a kid, so I had to buy them for the sentimental side of me; 2 sample-sized bottles of my favorite essential oils; a coffee card I started while I was borrowing someone else’s car and then lost inside my purse; a business card that never made it to my wallet; my wallet (which is a whole mess of its own); a new pack of hair ties; my little hair tie case for my purse (clean hair ties FTW!...if they ever make it from the package to the case, anyway); car keys; a folio full of various sticky notes; a hair clip; and a handful of tampons off to the left.

And I wonder why my purse is so heavy.

My thoughts regarding this mess--

How, exactly, does one acquire 44 pens in one month? I mean, cool pens are one thing, but surely I have not encountered 44 new cool pens in the last month...or, well, apparently I have...but how does this happen?!

14 types of lip crap? I mean, ok, the different EOS containers appeal to my hoarder gene, but that's impressive, even for me.

The things that seemed noteworthy during that school board meeting sure were important, huh? ;)

*looks at my scaly hands* Perhaps I should refill that hotel bottle with decent lotion so it'll actually get used?

How is it possible that I can never find a hair tie, yet, there can be a full pack in my purse?

WHERE THE HECK IS MY HAND SANITIZER?!?!?!?!?! Seriously, all the crap in my purse and not a single bottle of hand sanitizer. I am getting entirely too lax if antibacterial Wet Ones are a replacement for hand sanitizer. 

Ok, back to reality now that I have found that cough drop and repacked my purse. ;)

Best Lemonade Ever....

Ok, for the record, this is not exactly "lemonade." This is also not exactly "limeade." Lemon-Lime-Ade?  Whatever you want to call it, it's awesome. I've made lemonade with honey, agave nectar, and any number of other sugar substitutes, and they were all good...but this by far the best tasting lemonade I have ever tasted, much less made. It is good mixed with liquor (tequila, whisky, vodka...all good!), it is good simply poured over ice. It's just awesome.

What you need:
4 cups of fresh lemon/lime juice--I actually counted today, and I used 15 medium limes and 6 huge lemons
2 1/2 cups of sugar
ice
water

That's really it. :) Boil the sugar with equal parts water until clear, and juice all of your fruit over a sieve. Pour the juice and sugar syrup into a 1 gallon pitcher and add enough ice to make it cold, and then top it off with water. Serve over ice.

Husbands....

Let me preface this by saying that I have perhaps the most helpful and eager to please husband in the world. He cleans my kitchen and washes the dishes and runs to the store while I'm cooking to grab that last second ingredient that I must've forgotten without complaint or even hesitation. He will take a shopping list to the store and even drag a child or two along in order to save ME the hassle. Yes, I love him. He's definitely a keeper, which is probably why I've kept him around for 12 years.

That said...is my husband the only husband out there who can't seem to make it through the grocery store, no matter how short his list is, without calling to clarify something or another? Tonight, he said he wanted chili dogs for dinner...um...well, ok, I guess. Not having ANYTHING to make chili dogs in the house, I sent him to the store with the following list: hot dogs, canned chili, hot dog buns, and cheese (written just like that). My phone rings about 15 minutes later:

"Honey, they are all out of Tillamook 2 pound bricks..."
"Um, ok? So get something else..."
"But..."
"Then get 1 pound of Tillamook..."
"I guess I *could*..."
"Well, I don't see as you have much choice short of picking something else..."

Needless to say, he came home with a 1 pound brick of his favorite cheese. LOL!

But if it's not this, it's, "So, they have a 6 pack or an 8 pack of the item on your list...which do you want?" or "So I have a coupon for buy 2 get 1 free, but there are only two on the shelf..."

It is almost as though all of his grown-up judgment seeps out of his brain when he walks through the door of a grocery store...Someone tell me he's not the only husband that does this?

Work Smarter, Not Harder

First off--hello! This is me, knocking the cobwebs out of the corners of my all-but-abandoned blog. :) Lots has happened since I last posted, but for the most part, I've simply been slacking in the blogging department because it's just easier to cook without taking photos and notes about recipes. Sorry! Forgive me? ;)


Ok…so, it's no major secret that we eat a ton of fruit around here, and that pineapple is no exception to that. In fact, we almost always have a pineapple or two laying around waiting to be cut--we munch on it, I serve it with dinner, and I even incorporate it into lots of breakfast, dinner and dessert recipes.

All that said, it's such a pain in the butt…I often spend 10-15 minutes neurotically trimming one, only to watch it basically vanish in less time than it took me to cut it up. However, I had a lightbulb moment a few months ago! I have always used my teeny tiny little biscuit cutter to cut out the core after I've trimmed and sliced the pineapple. I am not sure why it never occurred to me before…but the larger biscuit cutters are perfect for trimming off the skin!

Simply slice the pineapple into 1/2-3/4 inch disks, choose the largest one that will fit inside the skin, and press (or pound) them through the pineapple!

So easy peasy--today I cut up 3 whole pineapples and it took me about 5 minutes total. :)

Paleo Brownies

I'm not even sure what to call these other than "FABULOUS"!!! These are entirely sugar-free and Paleo-friendly! So yummy!

1/3 cup coconut oil (solid)
2/3 cup honey
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
1 vanilla bean, scraped
1 egg
3 mashed bananas
2 heaping tablespoons cacao powder (more or less to taste)
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tsp baking powder (more or less optional...will be a bit denser without it)
2 tbsp arrowroot powder (optional…use a bit more coconut flour if you omit this)
1 cup chopped almonds
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1 cup coconut flour (more or less…didn't measure)

Preheat oven to 350*. Grease a muffin tin with coconut oil.

Beat the coconut oil, honey, vanilla, applesauce and egg until well blended. In another bowl, mash the bananas, and mix in the cinnamon, nutmeg, salt, baking powder, arrowroot powder and cacao powder. Add to the coconut oil mixture. Add coconut flour 1/4 cup at a time until batter reaches desired consistency (think thick cake batter). Stir in almonds and cranberries.

Fill muffin tin half way with batter. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted half way between the edge and the center comes out dry. They will be heavy for their size, but so unbelievably good!

Pineapple Grilling Sauce

I've been big on grilling sauce made from fresh fruit the last few months. I threw this one together today in about 5 minutes total, plus 2 hrs in the crock pot.

2 quart bags full of frozen pineapple--probably 2-3 pineapples worth
1 cup honey
1-2 tbsp five spice powder
1/2 tsp fresh grated nutmeg
1/2 inch fresh grated ginger
pinch of kosher salt
15-20 grinds of fresh black pepper
1 vanilla bean (split & scraped....and put the whole thing in the pot)

Cook on high for about 2-3 hours, and then transfer it to the blender and puree. This made exactly 3 pints for me. :)

Tonight I slathered it on grilled pork chops, and served it with grilled zucchini/red onion/yellow bell peppers, orange honeydew melon and a green salad. Absolutely, positively wonderful!

Pina Colada Granita

I should preface this post by saying that this "recipe" is really probably not worth blogging. We all know how to make a granita, right? The hardest part is waiting for it to freeze so you can eat it. haha!! That said...here we go! :)

What you will need:
1 fresh pineapple--peeled, cored, and cut into chunks
1 can coconut milk
1/2 cup of plain greek yogurt (optional, helps with creaminess)
1/2 cup of rum (I used Sailor Jerry's)
1 tbsp vanilla extract (or about half the guts of 1 vanilla bean)
coconut sugar to taste (more or less depending on how ripe your pineapple is--taste as you go!)
a pinch of kosher salt

Mix it all up in your blender and pour into a glass baking dish. Cover with plastic wrap (push it down on to the surface of the liquid to prevent a "skin" from forming), and freeze until solid (likely overnight).

When you are ready to serve it, remove from freezer and scrape the surface with a metal spoon to achieve the "shaved ice" look and texture. Serve in a pretty martini glass and garnish with a sprig of mint....or be like me and just throw it in a cereal bowl and hand it to your husband. ;)